Dr. Beckman's Tips for Getting Back on Track

Getting Back on Track from Terrorism

Sharing traditions, both within our families and the community, can help us heal. Participating in rituals and traditions establish and maintain lasting connections between us. These ties between family members and friends provide comfort, predictability and stability to our lives. Traditions and rituals fill us with a sense of groundedness that can help us all feel we can overcome obstacles in life.

Rituals do not have to be time consuming or complicated. They can be simple daily activities such as reading a story before bedtime or sharing special but uncomplicated activities revolving around holidays.
Between now and New Year’s, we have many opportunities to participate in holiday traditions. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, and Christmas are all times when families traditionally have shared memories.
Sometimes, the holiday traditions can become a chore rather than providing pleasure because we, as adults, are constantly trying to recreate the magic of our own childhood memories. You need to remember that children's memories are selective and may not always be accurate, so that if you remember baking twenty dozen cookies as a child, it may have only been one or two dozen. Family togetherness, doing the activity together is the important part. Eating the end product is only remembered as different than eating store bought cookies because of that activity of baking, the enjoyment of being together.
Most of us who live far away from the terrorist attack areas still feel we should do something in addition to sharing holiday traditions. There are things we can do within our community to help us all to heal, while "doing something" to help others, including those who are directly helping the victims. Here are some suggestions to get you started:

Schedule an appointment to donate blood, if you are able. Even though initial lines may be long, blood organizations will continue to need blood.
Participate in drives to donate to the Red Cross and other legitimate relief organizations. Many children feel good about donating small amounts of their own money when their parents are donating also.
Help your children make pictures or flags to give to the local police and firemen. Children also enjoy going as a family to take pictures to a local nursing home or Alzheimer care center.
Building a sense of community helps us all to heal. Participate in volunteer opportunities on a regular basis. Volunteer in the schools, volunteer to tutor, volunteer for Habitat for Humanity, etc. Some communities have volunteer clearinghouses where you can find out about the many volunteer opportunities available nearby.
Encourage your children to volunteer. You’d be surprised at the compassion and patience in your child. Even ten and eleven-year-olds can volunteer in day care centers after school, can volunteer to help an elderly person in their community by walking their dog or washing their car.
Encourage your schools and other organizations, such as scouts, to plan volunteer activities on a regular basis.
Reach out to those in your community who have lost loved ones. Invite them to dinner in your home, offer to include their children in your activities, and try to find other ways to help them stay connected.
If you see someone struggling, reach out. This reaching out may feel awkward, but it is almost always appreciated. If your help is not needed, find another way to help, because helping others helps you to heal.
Reach out to others to find comfort for yourself. Call your family. Go out to dinner with a friend.
Most importantly, get and remain connected with others.

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